ICE ICE Baby: Trump Threatens to Deport Elon Musk, Because Why Not!

Billionaire Bromance Turns Deportation Drama

Well, well, well . . .

Donald ‘Jettison’ Trump wants to deport Elon Musk. Yes, actually deport him. Pack him up, slap a “Return to Apartheid Heir” label on the crate, and ship him back to South Africa.

Y’all, would this make Elon Musk the first white man in U.S. history to be deported back to Africa?

For once, its seems as if America’s favorite deportation machine isn’t aimed at desperate families crossing deserts. Musk would be the inaugural passenger on the Reverse Middle Passage Express.

Can Y’all picture the absolute meltdown? Elon live-tweeting from the ICE van, trying to pay his bond in Dogecoin. South Africa at passport control being like, “We’re full, thanks.” The Department of Homeland Security updating their FAQ: “Yes, you can now deport a white guy if he pisses off the former president.”

And let’s not forget his army of barcode-named children crammed in the backseat. I can see the one who smeared a booger on the president’s desk sobbing, “Dad, is Mars not an option?”

This isn’t immigration enforcement, it’s centuries-overdue returns processing. America spent hundreds of years snatching Black people from Africa, and now it’s offering one white tech bro as a refund. Honestly, it’s not enough, but it’s a start. It’d be America saying, “No one is safe from our petty, unhinged political theater. Not even you, apartheid emerald baby.” Honestly, it’d be a true bipartisan moment. Who wouldn’t want to see Elon Musk get the same treatment America usually reserves for people with no lobbyists?

Jokes aside for a few seconds, the deportation threat isn’t just trolling. It’s part of a fresh flare-up in their explosive feud. Trump lashed out at Musk after he called the GOP’s “Big Beautiful Bill” a “fiscal disaster.”

Trump hinted Musk might have to “head back home to South Africa.” And he didn’t stop there—oh no chile. He basically said, “Pack your shit Musky. . . to the left, to the left, all your shit in a box to the left. And while you’re at it, I’m sending your own damn DOGE to shake you down.” That’s right, he threatened to turn Musk’s precious Department of Government Efficiency into his personal goon squad to audit his Tesla and SpaceX contracts.

We’re witnessing presidential threats of exile and IRS cosplay in one breath? This is peak MAGA soap opera. It’s like “Get out of my country, but leave your key and the millions in federal subsidies on the dresser first.” Nothing like two rich white men turning a political feud into full-blown financial BDSM. “Deport me harder, Daddy Government. Audit me all night.” Honestly, it’s less policy dispute and more OnlyFans roleplay with taxpayer money as the safe word.

Just messy.

Legally, Trump can’t deport Musk because he is a U.S. citizen. He became a naturalized U.S. citizen in 2002. Once you're a citizen, even naturalized, the government cannot just deport you because it’s mad at you. Deportation is for non-citizens like green card holders, visa holders, undocumented immigrants. The only extreme, rare exception would be denaturalization (proving you lied or committed fraud in the citizenship process). And that’s a formal legal process, not something a president can just declare at a press conference.

So Trump threatening to deport Musk is pure political theater, a tough guy bluff that has no legal teeth at all. It’s basically him yelling “Get out of my country!” at someone who, legally, is every bit as American as he is.

But be clear, Y’all, beyond budget theatrics, Trump is deploying audits and deportation threats, not just to defund Musk’s empire, but to signal he’s ready to strip even billionaires of their “real American” credentials if they dare cross him.

But let’s back up for a sec and recap the drama for anyone who missed this bromance tea.

About a month ago, Trump and the GOP rolled out their so-called “One Big Beautiful Bill,” basically designed to kill the electric vehicle mandate and gut green-energy subsidies. It was a giant middle finger to the EV industry, aka Tesla’s cash cow.

Elon, predictably, lost his mind. He’s spent years collecting government handouts for Tesla, SpaceX, SolarCity, you name it. And now they’re threatening to shut off the gravy train. So he started screaming about how the bill would destroy American innovation and tank the economy. He even threatened to form his own political party to stop Trump, which is hilarious considering the Libertarian Party is right there and starving for drama.

Trump didn’t take that well, because Trump never takes anything well. He immediately started talking about clawing back Elon’s federal contracts and subsidies. He even threatened to sic DOGE on Musk to investigate his finances.

Fast forward to this week: Trump cranks the drama to eleven. At a press conference, he literally says they might “have to take a look” at deporting Elon. Because in Trump’s world, if you criticize him, you’re obviously not a “real American,” even if you’re a billionaire whose entire business model depends on U.S. government money.

It’s funny, but it’s also a little terrifying. Trump threatening to deport political opponents, even fellow billionaires, because they dared to criticize him is pure authoritarian nonsense. This is exactly the petty, vengeful energy that should scare the shit out of anyone paying attention.

But hey, at least it’s exposing what American oligarchy really is: two rich, racist white men fighting over who gets to grift the most off our taxes.

Because that’s the real story here, right? Two entitled white billionaires treating America like their personal piggy bank, threatening audits and deportations like it’s Monopoly with real lives at stake. Trump’s tantrum isn’t about patriotism, it’s about punishing disloyalty. It’s a reminder that citizenship, subsidies, even whiteness itself can be weaponized or revoked if you piss off the wrong petty tyrant.

So yeah, laugh at the spectacle. But know it’s a promise, too. It’s a preview of what power will do to anyone who steps out of line. The line between strongman theater and state violence is paper-thin. Even the rich aren’t safe when power wants to flex. If they’ll threaten to deport a white billionaire for backtalk, imagine what they’ll do to the rest of us.

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